“I still haven't had closeness”

I dream of meeting a woman, unique and for a lifetime, - short-term relationships seem shameful to me. I am ready to search for my love to infinity, but it becomes more difficult to do without sex. What should I do?

Matvey, 23 years old

It seems that the trap is not in abstinence itself, but in an overly harsh opposition of great love to random ties based only on attraction. The opposition is theoretical, because you have not experienced either one or the other. Life is not so obvious. Often, relationships that begin as non-binding are painfully important - at least for someone.

I'm not talking about how many different motives drive us when choosing a partner. Self-assertion, fear of loneliness, the desire to forget about something disturbing for a while, revenge on the “third person”, pity, the desire for power - all human passions are so cleverly interwoven. That is why your dilemma seems like a big simplification. Close relationships (even if it is not the love of all life) imply an emotional risk, they are always imperfect in some way. Like all living things, they can develop, hurt, die. An idealized idea of ​​a possible life partner often gives permission for a careless, emotionless attitude towards real men and women.

Be wary not so much to get dirty as to freeze and freeze everyone around you. The best “medicine” for you would be falling in love - perhaps stupid, hopeless, but alive, human and not mutual. It would be very painful, but it would cure forever the black-and-white vision of oneself and others.

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Яндекс.Метрика
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