Sex on first dates: does it affect future relationships

My friend Anna met a young man on the web and, on the second date, invited him to dinner, which I arranged for mutual friends. The couple looked happy - it was obvious that something called chemistry was between them. Anna admitted that they immediately had sex, and was sure it only brought them closer together. Alex was the first man with whom she began a close relationship after the divorce. In marriage, she was not happy, and with this person she discovered herself in a new way - both feelings and body.

Unfortunately, this did not last long. Suddenly, Alex, with whom Anna had so many hopes, disappeared. Without waiting for messages and calls, my friend called him first. Alex apologized and referred to the fact that he was very busy at work. Another day of silence passed. Anna confessed to me that she was disappointed with his inattention and scolded herself for having so quickly decided on physical closeness.

On the same day, visiting the site where they met, she discovered that her friend was always busy online. Then for the first time she asked herself the question: was the person she hardly knew been honest with her in other matters?But Alex, for his part, did not know Anna and did not understand what she was expecting from him. There was simply no time for mutual understanding between them, on the basis of which agreements are usually built. The couple swiftly crossed the border, which, as it seemed to my friend, made them closer, but for her new acquaintance this might not have been the case.

Anna announced to Alex that it was all over between them. This surprised him: he didn’t even suspect that she was expecting regular calls and messages from him. Anna, on the other hand, believed that if Alex had been passionate about her, she would have searched for contact every day.

Sex on a first date really can be the beginning of a deep and long relationship, but just as well able to kill them

Did she require too much?Quite possible. However, this could only be understood in the process of gradually recognizing each other. Obviously, Anna and Alex were expecting different things. If the period of meetings and rapprochement continued, they would understand it naturally, and my friend would not have to experience the bitterness of disappointment.

I understand it well, because several years ago I experienced something similar myself. I have already met a man, when suddenly my friend and I found out that he had recently met her online. At first, I refused to believe it. I was convinced that he, like me, interrupted his correspondence with others and communicated only with me. Fortunately, by that time there was no intimate relationship between us, and this helped me not to feel too hurt.

For several days I did not answer his calls and messages, but in the end we met. It was a long and important conversation, during which he admitted that even a week ago he was not ready to make a final choice, and it was only on these days, when we stopped communicating, that I understood how dear I was to him. That evening we decided that we would be a couple. We were waiting for a year and a half of happy, saturated relationships, and even after parting, we remained friends. If before I called a friend, there was sex between us, I would not have crossed this offense and our connection, most likely, did not work out.

So at what stage of dating is first sex possible?I do not know the answer to this question. However, in many cases, intimacy that happened too soon simply does not give relationships a chance. Sex on a first date really can be the beginning of a deep and long relationship, but just as capable of killing them. But I'm sure: when you give yourself time, it works for you. If for the second side your unwillingness to rush things is a reason to interrupt communication, the sooner you find out about it, the better.

Sex on first dates: does it affect future relationships

About the Author

Lizzy Smith - The author of the blog The world according to LizzySmilez .

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